If I have any audience of readers, I encourage you to check out my new blog:
perpetuallyfleeting.blogspot.com
-AC.
June 24, 2009
Warped Tour?
WHAT THE HECK–so I am majorly regretting not going to Warped Tour 2008 (last year)!
They had Anberlin, Katy Perry, Does it Offend You Yeah, Motion City Soundtrack, Story of the Year, and Cobra Starship!
This year, the only band I actually care about is 3OH!3. Maybe All Time Low. Meh… Tickets are pretty cheap, only like $30ish (considering that Beyonce, Britney, andKaty Perry this year were like in the $100-200s). Mlehhhh….
Work was fun today! 
I love my office.
Might make a blogspot account just so I can follow people’s blogs…
June 22, 2009
Loneliness.
Strange, how you can be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so alone.
At college, it was the 3 weeks spent with the bf that distanced me and my floormates. Of course, the non-cliquey ones are always by my side, but as the Kay Ryan poem about the Cheshire Cat said, the bonds are more casual than we know. And maybe I’m just the only one who realizes it. I think I realized this when I knocked on SS’s door and they did the thing where they turned off the lights and pretended not to be there. Previously, I was always the one on the inside. And now I was on the outside. These are the people I’m living with next year?
And then back home, it’s the gradual disintegration of friendships that has made me feel even more alone. Out of the many people I talked to in high school, I can count on my fingers (perhaps even one hand) the ones I actually trust. But I feel like I always have to watch my back because of the aligned competition.
And since I’m kind of re-evaluating my relationship with the bf, I feel distanced from him too. Like I’ve got something to tell him, and I’m hiding it.
Sigh.
This is all eclipsed by the fact that I’m starting to get scared about where I put my little pink iPod nano.I distinctly remember putting it somewhere when moving out, but now I don’t know where that is.
And I’m too lazy to unpack.
June 9, 2009
I cannot believe that I’m leaving tomorrow.
It feels so surreal. My wall is devoid of the senior map, campus map, various free shit given during week 1 of UCD, photos of my friends, brochures, posters, and my Grey’s calendar. It’s so barren. I packed up my printer and all my clothes, which I now realize was stupid because I’ll have to fucking rip open the giant box of clothes to find my floral skirt to wear tomorrow.
So I went dumpster diving…in wedges. More on that later.
But yeah, it feels surreal. Part of me is so ready to go home. To escape the cliqueyness and the effort I have to make to be economical and not piss anybody off. I’m tired of being excluded and trying to fight my way back in after being exiled thanks to the bf. And then the other part of me is clinging onto whatever’s left of dorm life. I’m going to miss living with the crazy boys on my floor because I know I’ll rarely see them next year. I’m going to miss the convenience of the DC (yes, even though it sucks) and having your food prepared for you and then having the privilege of bitching about it without hurting anyone’s feelings. I’m going to miss the ease of doing what you want when you want–going out late at night, and getting drunk without having to cook up exotic stories.
I love you, R5. You made my freshman experience amazing.
June 6, 2009
Random pre-summer wishlist. And apartment excitement.
- A sexy pair of cage heels.
- An insulating coffee cup! I want to curb my tree-killing please.
- A waffle iron for next year in our gorgeous apartment
I’m attempting to smuggle our Belgian waffle iron out of the house, but a part of me fears it won’t go unnoticed by my sister (wtf…it’s not like we make Belgian waffles that often anyways. She and my parents are more pancake-people anyways) - Colored tights. Lots and lots of colored tights.
- A black, long-sleeved version of the navy, 3/4-sleeved American Apparel dress that I have. I love it! Except I need to shed a couple of pounds for it
- Peacock earrings…drool.
As the days pass by, I get more and more excited for living in the Drake next year. I think it’s primarily because of the space thing–we can put our cups and plates and cutlery into cabinets and drawers instead of piling up dirty dishes on top of the microwave. And we can cook on a STOVETOP or OVEN, and not have to microwave everything (I ate a Jose Ole chimichanga today–gross). And we get a living room! And larger bedrooms! Ahh, happiness.
I never really got to debrief on SM’s visit for the past three weeks. Mostly because I found out on the day he was leaving that I had a 10 page paper due the next day, fantastic!
The 3 weeks with SM revealed a lot of things.
- I fucking hate doing the deed every day. EVERY FUCKING DAY. I HATE IT!!!! And if I protest, or tell him I’m genuinely tired, or have work to do, or want to relax and watch tv, he groans and becomes all sulky and claims that I’m ‘making excuses’. And then he goes outside and smokes. Which leads me to…
- I HATE that he partially blames me for his smoking. Like if we don’t do the deed, then he will grab a Marlboro and give me this look like ‘This is all your fault’ and leave. Fucking A. STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR SMOKING. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, OKAY. AND IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU CHOSE TO DO IT BY SHOVING NICOTINE DOWN YOUR LUNGS!!!
- He’s very cheap. Actually, I already knew this. Sigh. I should be considerate–he does spend hella money to fly over and see me. But I can’t fucking drain all my swipes for him. If I hadn’t bought a meal block last week, I would have ZERO meals. And I’d be wasting a ton more money on Starbucks, Subway, and Teahouse. Yuck.
- I hate that I always have to entertain him. If I’m studying for a couple of hours, I have to stop and entertain him. SO FUCKING ANNOYING.
- I hate that I get alienated from my friends when he comes over.
- And on the deed issue, I’ve WARNED him about next year. But I’m quite unsure about what will happen.
To be completely honest, whenever he comes it just uproots my life. I love him being here, but it’s really tough to not see your bf for weeks and then have him IN YOUR FACE EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. It’s just not healthy.
Sigh. But as much as I hate the little annoyances of spending obscene amounts of time with him, I hate even more being without him.
June 4, 2009
Why do I only post on here when I’m upset/angry/bored/stressed?
…whatever. It shall remain an eternal mystery.
So I just found out today, right before dropping off the BF, that I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow…and I haven’t started. Fan-fucking tastic.
Agenda:
Now: get ready to go to SAS
5-6pm: fucking SAS
6pm-8:10ish: workworkwork, stats and then paper
8:15-9ish: sushi for S’s birthday
9pm-6am: workworkwork. fucking. paper.
gahhhhh ALL NIGHTER!
May 8, 2009
05/08/09: Things I accomplished today
Went to Stats class. Miraculously stayed awake. Came back. Attempted to clean dirty dishes using laundry detergent and/or Clorox wipes. Went to interview Dr. Gross for award nomination. Went to Rite Aid and bought dish soap, mascara ($8! Stupid economy), waxing strips, and instant pad thai. Heated up last night’s Chinese food. Watched 90210 and The Office.
Highlights of the week: Finally finishing the last of my midterms, realizing my jeans are getting looser (excuse to buy a cute belt!), getting the internship offer from CMH, celebrating said employment by gorging on Chinese takeout (complete with PMT, yummy) while watching amazing Grey’s Anatomy episode, and finally getting around to cleaning my room.
Now if only I could get started on my loads and LOADS of dirty laundry…
May 3, 2009
For once, midterms like me!
Grade update!
Statistics: So I got a 97% on my midterm, yay! Although homework is pretty hard, so I’m going to have to actually put effort into it and do it repeatedly so that I can boost my grade. Hopefully I can pull off A’s on the 2nd midterm and the final. Although I think if I just repeatedly do the Supplementary homework, I should be fine.
Global Interdependence: Going well! My quiz category is at a 95.8%, and I got a 96% on last Thursday’s midterm. Getting A’s feels gooooood So all I have to do is keep up with the reading so that I don’t bomb quizzes, and I will be fine.
War and Terrorism: Hopefully the midterm goes well..if I can get around to doing it. Gah. I need to stop procrastinating. But I’ve found out how to woo my TA, since i got a + on my last homework assignment. I do hope this will nullify all the other ones!
On the internship front…
STILL waiting for CMH’s office to call. That, and I’ve applied for the CGRS internship, which seems more up my alley anyways. It would be VERY cool to intern in SFO at the international litigation center.
And for summer?
If airfare and such works out, I’ll be in Greece for a week! Athens and Santorini, here I come!
April 29, 2009
Things on my mind
-So I’ve randomly invested in a box of Total cereal after seeing on C’s list of Iron-Packed foods that one ounce of the stuff contains 100% of your daily values recommended for iron! It kind of tastes like vitamin and mineral-infused cardboard, though. Oh well. At 7am, anything tastes good.
-I’m pretty much playing the waiting game for CMH’s office to call me and let me know about the status of my job application. Although I’ve heard many employers simply don’t call…Hm. She said she’d be ‘letting me know’ by the end of April. Which leaves today, April 29th, and tomorrow, April 30th. I’m assuming she will be calling me today, just for consistency’s sake. PLEASE CALL! DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING! PLEASE HIRE ME!
-On a happier and less anxious note, I got a 97% on my Statistics midterm! I knew I had done well but this was spectacular. And I discovered that I’ve never done this well on any midterm…with the exception of a 150% on the TCS midterm. But this is Statistics. The class where I struggled to maintain a C all year senior year. The class where I didn’t learn shit and instead made friendships (and relationships…hehe).
-Tomorrow is my IR midterm. Which I need to study for. If only I could finish this stupid Stats homework.
-As of late, the weather has been kind of stupid in Davis. It’s been very cold this week. And two weeks prior, it was disgustingly hot. VERY bipolar weather.
